6 Signs of a Bad Dungeon Master

You and your friends walk into the deepest catacomb of the crypt. The summons you’d received were cryptic and specific. It said to descend to the lowest portion of the crypt in order to receive a special mission. You’ve passed ancient bones and less ancient bones, and now you find yourself in a large room completely made out of stone. Bluish light seems to emanate from the corners of the room but you see no movement. Suddenly, mist fills the floor of the room, bubbling up as if from some great beast’s maw.In the corner you see an object rise off of a shelf. It floats towards you. As it enters the light, you see a single floating skull with jewels for eyes and teeth. A Demilich. You and your companions draw your weapons when you hear a voice.

“Wait.”

The voice is small and childlike. It emanates from the skull.

“I called you here. I am Isaac. I don’t know how, but I’ve somehow been trapped as a demilich. I’ve been here for so long and have only recently heard of your exploits. I know I look like a demilich, but I’m really just a child. This form has imbued with its knowledge but I just want to go home. Please, there is an artifact that has great power. Retrieve it and bring it back to return me to life as small boy. I’ll give you whatever I have. Please just help me.”

You stare in disbelief. You look at your companions, all equally bewildered.

You open your mouth to speak.

What do you do?

Welcome back to the 13th episode of How to Be a Better DM. I’m here to help you create better stories for you and your players as you dungeon master games of Dungeons and Dragons 5e.

Again, thanks for listening to today’s show and without further ado, let’s dive right in.

Here are 5 Signs of a Bad Dungeon Master

Obviously, right off the bat, you should know that the purpose of this episode is to help you not be a bad dungeon master. So don’t do or be these things.

1. Forcing storylines.

It’s one thing to create obvious plot paths. It’s another thing to make players turn their characters around to go the way you want them to when they were presented a choice and they chose the other way. D&D is all about role-playing and immersing yourself in the story. If you feel your character can’t choose anything they want to do, they won’t have as much fun. Relax. Your players will choose to do something completely different than what you want. That’s ok. In fact, in my campaign (Princes of the Apocalypse by Wizards of the Coast) our group was supposed to go into this riverside keep. Instead, the group went in for a second and then left and hasn’t returned. Big deal. The story’s been fun so far so who cares.

1. Afraid of looking dumb

As a DM you will make mistakes. In fact, one of your players will probably call you out on your mistake. A bad DM will puff up their chest and stick out their chin, flare their nostrils and claim that the player is wrong and that King Kong DM rule world and everyone bow down. That’s not the way to play. Your players will think you’re ridiculous and no one will have fun. Instead, just laugh at yourself and chuckle and then say anyways, and move on.

1. Favorite Players

This one is tough for me because I DM a group that includes my wife… But actually, I think I might have the opposite problem in that I might be too hard on my wife and her character. Don’t do that either. Be generous with your attention to each player and each character. If you realize you haven’t worked on the arc of one particular player, put that in the next session. Look critically at who gets the most loot. Try and make it more even.

1. No Substance

A bad DM will spend thousands of dollars on all the coolest Mini’s, have the perfect gaming table, all sorts of props, a billion dice, but won’t spend any time on the story. I’d take a great story teller with no cool widget over one who’s bought everything but can’t tell a story to save their life. Focus on your storytelling abilities, improvisation skills and campaign preparation. The rest will come in time.

1. No Patience for the Players

A bad DM will have 0 patience for their players. They won’t explain rules or will do it in a rushed fashion. A bad DM might even shame players for doing things a certain way while playing. Don’t be that way. You are the shepherd of your players. Guide them lovingly through the story you’ve created. The players are as much a part of your world as you are. If you don’t have players, you don’t have a game. So be patient and enjoy the nascient tendencies of a novice murder-hobo group just learning how to play.

1. Stop Having Fun

Lastly, a bad DM will let their preparation get in the way of having fun at the table. If being a DM becomes too much of a headache for you, switch things up. Try things a new way. Maybe spend a little less time on the preparation. Or listen to more episodes of this show (shameless plug) to get inspiration for how to make things easier for yourself. You can find all sorts of cool stuff online to help make your process easier. Or maybe, DMing isn’t for you and you should really just play the game while someone else is the dungeon master. That’s ok too. Just make sure everyone is having fun.

That’s it for today. 

But first a quick question.

What is your biggest struggle in being a DM? Honestly? I need to know. Send me a private message on Instagram @geronimolevis    to tell me what you need and I’ll get that prepped and put up on a podcast episode.

Until then, let’s roll initiative.

Mentioned in this episode:

Brought to you by Session 0 Studios

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Listen to Our New Podcast

As a listener of this show, you obviously love story. Now that you’ve learned how to craft your own story on this show, wouldn’t it be nice to have some inspiration? Or maybe just a moment of immersion and escape? Then come join us in our new Actual Play D&D 5e show, Pact and Boon. Enter the World of Calignos where our characters, Jolly, Wolfgang and Alon will meet each other in Hell. Enjoy our troublemaking and near-death experiences wherever great podcasts are heard. Just go to session0studios.com/pactnboon and start listening today.

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