Speaker: 00:00:02

Welcome to How to be a Better DM.

2

: 00:00:04

I'm Justin Lewis, I'm your host today, and

I'm excited to have today's conversation.

3

: 00:00:10

This is How to be a Better DM.

4

: 00:00:14

Welcome back to How to be a Better DM.

5

: 00:00:16

Now let's.

6

: 00:00:26

Welcome back to How to be a Better DM, the

official podcast of Monsters.Rent, the

7

: 00:00:31

only subscription service for D&D minis.

8

: 00:00:35

I'm your host today, Justin Lewis, and

today I'm going to talk with you about a

9

: 00:00:39

topic that affects every gaming group at

least once in their campaign, in their

10

: 00:00:45

career.

11

: 00:00:46

And to be honest, it's something that's

kind of been a thorn in my side as of

12

: 00:00:50

late, and personally I hate it when this

happens.

13

: 00:00:54

It can interrupt the flow of the game and

cause some confusion in the story as well.

14

: 00:00:59

And honestly, it's just a plague.

15

: 00:01:01

So today, let's talk about the cure.

16

: 00:01:04

Also, I am trying something new with the

music, so if it's too loud, I sincerely

17

: 00:01:09

hope it isn't.

18

: 00:01:11

I actually might change some of the volume

right now if I can.

19

: 00:01:21

And I can't.

20

: 00:01:23

Wait.

21

: 00:01:44

There, I think the volume is better now.

22

: 00:02:00

Okay, I adjusted the music, it should be

good now.

23

: 00:02:04

I adjusted the music, it should be good

now.

24

: 00:02:06

And, but before we get to the rest of the

episode, I also wanted to let you know

25

: 00:02:10

that we want to hear from you listeners.

26

: 00:02:14

Literally, actually.

27

: 00:02:15

We want to start featuring some listener

questions or tips or segments on the show.

28

: 00:02:20

So, go to Instagram.

29

: 00:02:22

You can either go to monsters.rent as the

profile or howtobetabetterdm as the

30

: 00:02:28

profile.

31

: 00:02:29

and follow us obviously, but send us a

message, either video, audio, or text, of

32

: 00:02:34

a question that you want answered, or a

question you want to answer, or a tip that

33

: 00:02:38

you have, really anything, and we'll

mention it on the show, as well as give

34

: 00:02:43

you a quick shout out, and we realize that

you, the listener, and all the listeners

35

: 00:02:49

out there, have a wealth of experience

that should be shared as well, so why not

36

: 00:02:54

share it?

37

: 00:02:55

Again, go to Instagram.

38

: 00:02:57

at Monsters.Rent or at HowToBeAvatarDM,

send us a message and we will get it up on

39

: 00:03:02

the show.

40

: 00:03:03

So the plague that I was talking about

earlier is when a player misses a session

41

: 00:03:10

or can't make a particular session.

42

: 00:03:13

Okay, to start off, let's take a quick

scenario.

43

: 00:03:16

This is a text thread between you and your

group.

44

: 00:03:20

DM, D&D tonight at six.

45

: 00:03:22

Does that work for everyone?

46

: 00:03:24

Alex, yup, I can't wait.

47

: 00:03:27

Of course, bruh.

48

: 00:03:28

I'll bring the soda.

49

: 00:03:29

Maddie, I'll bring snacks.

50

: 00:03:32

Does everyone like Japanese algae candy?

51

: 00:03:34

Alex, no way.

52

: 00:03:36

That stuff's gross.

53

: 00:03:37

Maddie, Alex, I saw you eat like 10

handfuls of the stuff last week.

54

: 00:03:41

Jerry, uh, I'm really sorry guys.

55

: 00:03:45

I can't make it tonight.

56

: 00:03:47

Obviously, the rest of the thread goes on

in stunned silence for the next three

57

: 00:03:53

hours.

58

: 00:03:53

No one responds.

59

: 00:03:55

This is a very common situation.

60

: 00:03:57

And the reason why there is a stunned

silence in the text thread for the next

61

: 00:04:01

three hours is because everybody wants to

play D&D that night.

62

: 00:04:06

Jerry is the only one not able to make it

and everyone is wondering, what do we do

63

: 00:04:13

now?

64

: 00:04:14

That is in part what I wanted to talk

about today.

65

: 00:04:17

What do you do when this happens?

66

: 00:04:20

First off, let's talk about what you can

do and then let's talk about

67

: 00:04:24

why and when you should or shouldn't do

any particular one thing.

68

: 00:04:29

I also want to make it very clear, don't

feel guilty for wanting to play D&D

69

: 00:04:35

without one of your players there.

70

: 00:04:38

It happens.

71

: 00:04:39

Also, don't feel guilty for rescheduling

for a later time.

72

: 00:04:43

I've said this before, but D&D is just a

hobby, unless it's your livelihood, but

73

: 00:04:48

other things will probably take precedence

over D&D.

74

: 00:04:52

Sometimes, at least.

75

: 00:04:53

That said though, let's talk about your

options.

76

: 00:04:56

As far as I can see, here are your only

options.

77

: 00:05:00

Number one, reschedule the session for a

different time.

78

: 00:05:03

Number two, play anyway.

79

: 00:05:05

Number three, kidnap the delinquent

player, duct tape them to the chair, wax

80

: 00:05:10

their eyebrows off for their impertinence

for missing a session, and play anyways.

81

: 00:05:16

Obviously number three isn't as practical,

but it's way more fun.

82

: 00:05:21

And since it's not as practical, we're not

gonna talk about that one.

83

: 00:05:24

It's also kind of self-explanatory.

84

: 00:05:26

So if you do that, please don't say you

got the idea from me when it comes out on

85

: 00:05:30

national television.

86

: 00:05:32

Anyways, those three, technically two

things are the only things you can do.

87

: 00:05:39

And that's what we want to talk about.

88

: 00:05:41

So now that we know what we can do, let's

talk about what you should do.

89

: 00:05:47

Number one, rescheduling the session.

90

: 00:05:49

probably the least desirable option is to

reschedule the session.

91

: 00:05:54

And it's likely the least desirable

because it's assumed that everyone in the

92

: 00:05:58

group wants to play D&D.

93

: 00:05:59

That's why they're in the group.

94

: 00:06:01

And this is exactly, this is essentially

going to make everyone suffer, right?

95

: 00:06:07

I'm not better.

96

: 00:06:10

Rescheduling is just gonna make everyone

suffer.

97

: 00:06:14

I'm not bitter, I promise.

98

: 00:06:16

I'm just stating the facts.

99

: 00:06:19

Even though I am a little bit bitter.

100

: 00:06:22

No one wants to reschedule, but sometimes

it is the right choice.

101

: 00:06:27

The most common reason for rescheduling is

that multiple people in the group can't

102

: 00:06:31

make it.

103

: 00:06:33

You're going to have to come up with your

own hard and fast rules, but in my group,

104

: 00:06:37

if three people can't make it, then for

sure we're rescheduling.

105

: 00:06:40

That's like set in stone.

106

: 00:06:42

If two people can't make it, then it's

like 85% sure that we're going to

107

: 00:06:46

reschedule and if one person can't make

it, then it's, it's still like 60 to 70%.

108

: 00:06:52

sure that we're probably going to

reschedule and that's because I don't

109

: 00:06:55

generally have a spine.

110

: 00:06:57

I would say that rescheduling, regardless

of the right choice, is likely the easiest

111

: 00:07:02

option for the DM.

112

: 00:07:05

Everything else is just a little bit more

involved, right?

113

: 00:07:09

I will say just because you reschedule D&D

doesn't mean that you have to reschedule

114

: 00:07:14

games or reschedule hanging out with your

friends.

115

: 00:07:16

You could still meet up with the members

of the group who can make it and play a

116

: 00:07:20

different game.

117

: 00:07:21

or even just play a one-shot that you come

up with on the spot or have in your back

118

: 00:07:24

pocket.

119

: 00:07:25

There's nothing wrong with that.

120

: 00:07:27

And for that reason alone, rescheduling is

a very powerful option when it comes to a

121

: 00:07:31

player being absent from a session.

122

: 00:07:34

It's also a good option because you don't

really have to make any other

123

: 00:07:37

considerations, right?

124

: 00:07:39

If you reschedule, that's that.

125

: 00:07:41

But there's obviously the other option

where you play anyway.

126

: 00:07:44

So with that, let's transition away from

this option, rescheduling that's not

127

: 00:07:48

really the funnest option.

128

: 00:07:50

but it is the simplest and it's the

easiest.

129

: 00:07:53

And let's try to make things a little bit

more complicated.

130

: 00:07:56

There's a few ways to play anyways.

131

: 00:08:00

The first one is present but

non-participating.

132

: 00:08:05

And obviously for the next few options,

we're assuming that only one player is

133

: 00:08:08

absent and that the DM and the rest of the

group have decided to proceed forward

134

: 00:08:12

regardless of the absence, right?

135

: 00:08:13

That's basic assumption.

136

: 00:08:18

Now...

137

: 00:08:19

As the DM, you have to make the choice of

what happens to the character for who,

138

: 00:08:26

for, sorry, what happens to the character

who, for the time being, is without a

139

: 00:08:32

puppet master, right, without their

player.

140

: 00:08:36

The next obvious and next easiest method

then is present and non-participating.

141

: 00:08:41

It's simply to have that character be

present but not do anything.

142

: 00:08:46

Whenever role-playing situations happen,

that character doesn't interact and is

143

: 00:08:50

basically just a walking potato.

144

: 00:08:53

This method might work, but more often

than not, it will be comical to the other

145

: 00:08:58

players who will ask, what does Gregorius

do in this situation?

146

: 00:09:02

To which you'll have to respond as the DM.

147

: 00:09:05

Gregorius seems a bit zoned out and

doesn't really respond to the rest of you.

148

: 00:09:09

While funny, this method sort of breaks

the fourth wall, and it reminds you and

149

: 00:09:13

the players that this is a game.

150

: 00:09:15

Decreasing the overall immersion also it

provides a big target on gregarious is

151

: 00:09:19

back for the other players to steal stuff

from him kind of mess around with him and

152

: 00:09:23

just kind of See what they can get away

with if your players are wonderful and

153

: 00:09:28

considerate players They might not mess

around with you know gregarious You know,

154

: 00:09:35

it's just a character, right?

155

: 00:09:39

In this case, it wouldn't even be an NPC,

it would just be a C, right, a character.

156

: 00:09:44

I guess it would be an NPC.

157

: 00:09:47

But I don't prefer this method because

it's too easy to just transition to one of

158

: 00:09:51

the other methods anyways, right, you're

just naturally gonna do it.

159

: 00:09:54

So I feel like doing it this way with a

character being present but not

160

: 00:09:58

participating is just sort of a

non-decision, as the DM doesn't really

161

: 00:10:02

decide what to do, right?

162

: 00:10:03

Besides, we all know that as soon as

combat happens, it will be as if the

163

: 00:10:07

character isn't there or

164

: 00:10:09

someone else will take control over the

character.

165

: 00:10:11

So let's just talk about the other methods

because those are probably gonna happen

166

: 00:10:15

anyways.

167

: 00:10:16

So the next method is present and subbed.

168

: 00:10:20

One method you can employ is the present

and subbed method.

169

: 00:10:22

In this method, you let someone else at

the table take control of the character.

170

: 00:10:28

For all intents and purposes, the missing

player is being subbed out or substituted

171

: 00:10:33

by another player at the table.

172

: 00:10:35

If you do go with this method, I would put

in a couple stipulations in the gameplay.

173

: 00:10:40

First of all, I would recommend that the

subbing player does not do any role

174

: 00:10:44

playing for the missing player.

175

: 00:10:46

I recommend this because no one wants

words put in their mouths.

176

: 00:10:52

So if you have someone playing for you,

there is a chance that things would be

177

: 00:10:56

said that the original player would never

say or things would be done that the

178

: 00:11:01

original player would never do.

179

: 00:11:03

or vice versa, right?

180

: 00:11:04

Things wouldn't be said or wouldn't be

done that they would do.

181

: 00:11:07

You know, it just gets really confusing

really fast and I would just avoid it.

182

: 00:11:11

Actually, I have an example.

183

: 00:11:13

My brother-in-law plays in our group and

he was gone one session and his brother

184

: 00:11:18

decided to step in and because of his

brother's choices, Drew, right?

185

: 00:11:25

Ethan is the player I'm talking about and

Drew stepped in to play Ethan's character.

186

: 00:11:29

Drew ended up murdering a harmless

187

: 00:11:32

kind of innocent bystander, and that

definitely affected the alignment, or at

188

: 00:11:38

least the internal choices of this one

character that Ethan was playing, but he

189

: 00:11:43

wasn't there, right?

190

: 00:11:44

And he was really angry when he got back.

191

: 00:11:45

So just avoid it, right?

192

: 00:11:47

Next, and this actually has to apply

whether you or another player are

193

: 00:11:52

controlling the missing PC, but can they

die?

194

: 00:11:58

In my games, if you are not present...

195

: 00:12:00

your character can't die.

196

: 00:12:01

And I might change that and make it so

they have advantage on all death saves or

197

: 00:12:05

something like that.

198

: 00:12:06

But that's just because I don't trust

myself or my roles enough to keep the

199

: 00:12:10

character alive.

200

: 00:12:12

So if you are going to die and bleed out,

you don't because you are on loan, quote

201

: 00:12:17

unquote.

202

: 00:12:18

And to me, that's just not fair.

203

: 00:12:19

No one wants their character to die when

they're not there, right?

204

: 00:12:23

In your games are your characters whose

players are gone, able to die.

205

: 00:12:29

If they can, make sure the missing player

knows this, right?

206

: 00:12:32

Knows that there is a chance that their

character can die.

207

: 00:12:35

In fact, that should be a table rule set

up at the beginning of the campaign before

208

: 00:12:41

any players are ever missing, right?

209

: 00:12:43

They should know that.

210

: 00:12:44

You also need to decide if the missing

player has the right to retcon anything

211

: 00:12:49

when they return.

212

: 00:12:51

In my opinion, I would opt against this

except for various role-playing aspects.

213

: 00:12:56

when it comes to the major choices, the

player shouldn't get to choose what

214

: 00:13:00

happens when they are gone, right?

215

: 00:13:02

They should have the opportunity to say, I

do not want anyone playing my character,

216

: 00:13:08

you know, but they shouldn't be able to

decide, yes, I wanted to make this

217

: 00:13:13

decision versus that one.

218

: 00:13:16

That said, the players controlling the

characters whose player is missing, right?

219

: 00:13:21

The player subbing in also shouldn't be

able to make any big decisions with them

220

: 00:13:25

either.

221

: 00:13:26

When a character is being subbed, they

really should almost be an NPC that gets

222

: 00:13:33

to help the party in mostly just combat,

right?

223

: 00:13:36

Keep it simple.

224

: 00:13:38

The last option that allows the character

to still remain present is controlling

225

: 00:13:43

them yourself as the DM.

226

: 00:13:45

And in my opinion, this can be pretty

simple to do, but it can also get somewhat

227

: 00:13:49

annoying.

228

: 00:13:50

For example, if your players use digital

character sheets that you, the DM, can

229

: 00:13:53

see,

230

: 00:13:54

then it gets a little easier, right?

231

: 00:13:56

If they're using D&D Beyond, you can just

pull that up and you can play the

232

: 00:13:58

character.

233

: 00:13:59

But if they don't, then you'll have to

keep track of those sheets of paper,

234

: 00:14:03

right?

235

: 00:14:04

Which can get annoying, because you're

already keeping track of so much other

236

: 00:14:07

stuff.

237

: 00:14:08

Also, the more obvious consideration is

that as the DM, you are controlling scores

238

: 00:14:13

of baddies, as I just said.

239

: 00:14:14

Do you actually want to be in charge of

another character during combat?

240

: 00:14:20

And my general opinion is to give a player

control of the characters during combat at

241

: 00:14:25

the very least, depending on how many

adversaries there are, right?

242

: 00:14:28

If it's just one, then I'm okay doing it,

but if there's multiple, then I'm giving

243

: 00:14:32

that away, right?

244

: 00:14:34

And here, there are a few...

245

: 00:14:37

So if keeping a character around is so

much energy and focus consuming, why would

246

: 00:14:43

anyone choose to keep the character

present instead of just having them leave,

247

: 00:14:46

right?

248

: 00:14:46

So far we've talked about, if you continue

playing the session...

249

: 00:14:50

We've talked about keeping the character

present and having someone else control

250

: 00:14:54

them either you or the other players the

other option is Just having the character

251

: 00:14:58

leave for a bit.

252

: 00:15:00

So why would Anyone just have the

character present rather than having them

253

: 00:15:04

leave and there are a few reasons the

first reason is That depending on your

254

: 00:15:09

party and table rules the character might

have to be present in order to gain

255

: 00:15:14

experience And that's how it works in

video games, but that may or may not be

256

: 00:15:20

how it works at your table.

257

: 00:15:22

For example, I prefer just to have

everyone in my party level up at the same

258

: 00:15:26

time based on specific plot points, right,

and that's because I don't really like

259

: 00:15:31

math.

260

: 00:15:32

I also don't have any players who leave

for extended periods of time.

261

: 00:15:37

It's simply just to keep things easy for

me, and I know that's not super game

262

: 00:15:41

mechanic-y, but that's how I do it.

263

: 00:15:43

The second reason a DM might choose to

have a character stick around while the

264

: 00:15:47

player is not present is because they are

integral.

265

: 00:15:50

to the current story at hand.

266

: 00:15:52

And this might be the same reason that you

choose to reschedule the session if a

267

: 00:15:55

player is not around, because they need to

be present to make certain decisions,

268

: 00:15:59

right?

269

: 00:16:00

Having the character participate without

the player is not an ideal situation, but

270

: 00:16:04

it does allow the story to move on, and it

makes it so the entire party isn't just

271

: 00:16:08

waiting on the one person, because that

gets annoying really fast.

272

: 00:16:13

The third reason is that it doesn't make

sense for the character to just disappear.

273

: 00:16:19

There are different ways to make it so the

character does disappear, which we'll talk

274

: 00:16:23

about next, but if you are in the middle

of a dungeon or stuck on a speeding train,

275

: 00:16:27

having the character just say, gotta go,

doesn't really make sense and breaks the

276

: 00:16:31

immersion.

277

: 00:16:33

So now that we've talked about keeping the

character present, let's talk about having

278

: 00:16:37

the character be absent in addition to

their player.

279

: 00:16:42

There are, in my opinion, three ways to

make this happen.

280

: 00:16:45

Number one, you have the character stay

behind and the party leaves.

281

: 00:16:49

Number two, you have the character

actively choose to leave from where the

282

: 00:16:52

party is, or number three, you can have

something else pull the character away,

283

: 00:16:57

right?

284

: 00:16:57

Some sort of third party force.

285

: 00:17:02

When you have the character stay behind,

this is simply that the party decides to

286

: 00:17:06

go somewhere and the character decides to

remain where they are, waiting for the

287

: 00:17:11

rest of the party to return.

288

: 00:17:12

I saw a great example of this in High

Rollers, which is that group from the UK.

289

: 00:17:21

One of their players was not there and

they had her character Nova just stay back

290

: 00:17:27

at the inn and the party went and did

something else.

291

: 00:17:30

Obviously this worked because the party

was staying in an inn in a city.

292

: 00:17:34

If they were in the middle of a desert

without food or water, having the

293

: 00:17:36

character stay behind wouldn't really make

sense.

294

: 00:17:40

It would be nonsense.

295

: 00:17:41

When you have your character leave the

party...

296

: 00:17:46

When you have your character leave the

party, the character decides that another

297

: 00:17:52

path is more important than traveling with

the party, even for a day, right?

298

: 00:17:57

In the second campaign of Critical Role,

Yasha does this multiple times because

299

: 00:18:01

that player had other commitments that she

had to fulfill.

300

: 00:18:14

When you choose this method, you have to

have the player or yourself come up with a

301

: 00:18:18

logical reason as to why the character

leaves.

302

: 00:18:22

If the reason is because I wanted to find

mushrooms in the forest, that either fits

303

: 00:18:26

with your campaign or your character, or

it doesn't.

304

: 00:18:30

If it doesn't, the other players will not

find that a rewarding answer, and it will

305

: 00:18:35

make an annoying situation even more

frustrating.

306

: 00:18:39

More than anything, when a character

leaves the party and comes back, that

307

: 00:18:42

should be an excellent opportunity

308

: 00:18:44

develop the story arc of that character,

providing great role playing for the party

309

: 00:18:50

when the character returns.

310

: 00:18:51

So don't waste it, use it as an

opportunity to have something cool happen

311

: 00:18:56

even off camera technically.

312

: 00:19:00

Speaking of the character coming back,

when a character leaves you will have to

313

: 00:19:04

decide if they come back or not.

314

: 00:19:08

And if the character was just a temporary

thing or the player wants to have a new

315

: 00:19:11

character then having them leave is not

a...

316

: 00:19:13

bad thing at all.

317

: 00:19:14

It's actually a good thing.

318

: 00:19:16

In most cases though, the character will

come back and that means that you and the

319

: 00:19:22

player who is missing need to try and

figure out a plausible reason not only for

320

: 00:19:26

why the character left, but more

importantly, why they came back and how

321

: 00:19:31

they came back.

322

: 00:19:33

In some instances, it's easy.

323

: 00:19:35

Nicholas, Nicholas Trichagius left to go

commune with his deity in the forest.

324

: 00:19:43

or Nicholas Trocadius left to go commune

with his deity in the forest.

325

: 00:19:49

He came back because he was done.

326

: 00:19:52

The only reason that specific scenario

could work is because in this case, the

327

: 00:19:56

party remained in the same city, able to

move freely, right?

328

: 00:20:00

Nicholas Trocadius could come and go as he

pleased.

329

: 00:20:03

If the party had been embroiled in a

dungeon, then having Nick Trocadius show

330

: 00:20:09

up would be somewhat weird, unless...

331

: 00:20:11

His deity in the forest had shown him a

specific place in the dungeons where he

332

: 00:20:15

could find special psychedelic mushrooms.

333

: 00:20:19

And that place where those mushrooms were

just so happened to coincide with where

334

: 00:20:25

the party is.

335

: 00:20:27

Honestly, even that scenario is a bit

far-fetched, but sometimes it works,

336

: 00:20:31

right?

337

: 00:20:32

Also a quick side note.

338

: 00:20:33

D&D is your story.

339

: 00:20:35

That means that even though some things

might seem coincidental...

340

: 00:20:39

It isn't because you are the story weaver,

tying all the threads together, weaving a

341

: 00:20:43

great and beautiful tapestry.

342

: 00:20:47

Was it coincidence that Han Solo and

Chewbacca were in the Mos Eisley Cantina

343

: 00:20:53

when Ben Kenobi was looking for a way off

Tatooine?

344

: 00:20:57

Or was it the Force?

345

: 00:20:59

Was it just coincidence that Aragorn,

Legolas, and Gimli were all present at the

346

: 00:21:04

Council of Rivendell, or were they

destined to be there?

347

: 00:21:09

You know, it doesn't matter because they

were there.

348

: 00:21:12

Sometimes I analyze things too much and I

fall into this trap of thinking, what a

349

: 00:21:16

funny coincidence that those two

characters were there and then I decide

350

: 00:21:20

not to make that part of the story.

351

: 00:21:22

In movies and stories, coincidences happen

all the time and honestly, that might be

352

: 00:21:26

why the stories or the movies even have a

plot because of the quote unquote

353

: 00:21:31

coincidence.

354

: 00:21:32

So I know I say that you have to make

things quote unquote make sense and I know

355

: 00:21:37

that you've

356

: 00:21:38

that I've been using a lot of air quotes,

quote unquote, but just as long as your

357

: 00:21:43

story is gripping and entertaining, I

wouldn't worry too much about it.

358

: 00:21:48

Side note over, by the way.

359

: 00:21:49

So thinking about reasons why a character

would return, there are a few

360

: 00:21:53

possibilities, but obviously if you can

think it up, then it's probably gonna

361

: 00:21:57

work.

362

: 00:21:58

The simplest reason is that, like what

I've already mentioned, the character that

363

: 00:22:02

left finished the thing that they went to

do, so they came back.

364

: 00:22:08

doesn't need much more explanation than

that.

365

: 00:22:11

Another simple reason is that the thing

they went to do led them back to the party

366

: 00:22:15

anyways.

367

: 00:22:16

This method is great if you want to tie in

the reason they came back with what the

368

: 00:22:22

party has going on right now.

369

: 00:22:24

An example of this would be Doostar the

Druid left because she had a strange

370

: 00:22:28

vision about her communing with nature in

a white glaive, glade, a white glade.

371

: 00:22:34

She leaves, finds the white glade.

372

: 00:22:37

And while there she has another vision

about finding a black glade and her party.

373

: 00:22:43

She starts her search.

374

: 00:22:44

She finds the black glade right as a death

knight begins attacking her party in the

375

: 00:22:49

very black glade she saw in her vision.

376

: 00:22:52

And the party dispatches the black glade

and the death knight.

377

: 00:22:57

Dewstar discovers that the center of the

glade there is a grave of an ancient druid

378

: 00:23:02

whose spirit is at unrest for some reason.

379

: 00:23:05

and now the party's gonna kinda go on that

storyline for a while, you know, so the

380

: 00:23:09

character left and returned both for plot

points.

381

: 00:23:15

Another simple reason is that the missing

character has her own agenda and then

382

: 00:23:19

whatever the party was doing leads the

party to the missing character.

383

: 00:23:23

It's somewhat similar to the previous

reason, but there are slight differences.

384

: 00:23:28

In this case, the missing character

doesn't really have any intention of

385

: 00:23:32

returning to the party or they intend to

return much later.

386

: 00:23:35

The party then does the returning, you

could say, surprising everyone involved.

387

: 00:23:41

When it comes down to it, you don't need

to make it make sense unless you want to

388

: 00:23:45

dwell on the fact that they left and came

back.

389

: 00:23:49

If you just want to gloss over that

so-and-so returned, you know, then it's

390

: 00:23:53

fine.

391

: 00:23:53

You just gloss over it and move on.

392

: 00:23:55

The rest of your party was going to move

on too, no problem.

393

: 00:23:58

But if you do want to spend time on it,

make sure that it's a satisfying,

394

: 00:24:00

fulfilling answer to the question of why

did you come back here and now?

395

: 00:24:06

While we're on the subject of players

missing sessions and things like that, I

396

: 00:24:10

think it would be apropos to talk about

how communication around missing sessions

397

: 00:24:16

happens.

398

: 00:24:18

Here's the truth of it.

399

: 00:24:20

It's gonna change on a case-by-case basis.

400

: 00:24:23

Here's the idea, the ideal that we all

strive for.

401

: 00:24:27

Every missing player alerts the group at

least a couple days in advance.

402

: 00:24:32

That's kind of the ideal situation.

403

: 00:24:34

And I know things don't always pan out

that way, but it's best to alert the group

404

: 00:24:37

as soon as you know, you're gonna be

missing a session so that the group can

405

: 00:24:41

make decisions and plan what they are

gonna do.

406

: 00:24:44

For example, this previous week, I was

sick.

407

: 00:24:47

I was hoping I would feel better by the

time and day of our session, but I wasn't.

408

: 00:24:52

So I texted the group that I couldn't do

it that day.

409

: 00:24:56

On other occasions, members of our group

have had conflicts and they've alerted us

410

: 00:25:00

that they would be out of town weeks in

advance, right?

411

: 00:25:02

As soon as you know,

412

: 00:25:04

tell the group.

413

: 00:25:05

This allows the rest of us to decide if we

will continue playing anyways or if we

414

: 00:25:10

will hold off and wait until you get back.

415

: 00:25:12

So really the only rule for communication

is communicate early, communicate clearly,

416

: 00:25:16

communicate often.

417

: 00:25:19

What do you do if the missing player is

integral to the story?

418

: 00:25:23

Here's where I put on my tough love hat.

419

: 00:25:26

The simple fact of the matter is that you

will have to decide yourself, but let me

420

: 00:25:30

tell you that no decision is wrong.

421

: 00:25:32

If you decide to move along with the

story, that's totally fine.

422

: 00:25:35

In fact, maybe the player being gone will

help you write a more creative story.

423

: 00:25:40

Either way, you're the DM and you're going

to have to take control over the session

424

: 00:25:45

and decide whether it happens, right?

425

: 00:25:48

Yes, your players may all decide to skip a

week, but you get to decide if the week is

426

: 00:25:51

skipped anytime on a whim, right?

427

: 00:25:54

You have more control than any other

player.

428

: 00:25:57

And don't forget that.

429

: 00:25:59

Also, lord, don't, also, don't lord that

over your players in a really jerky way,

430

: 00:26:06

that's just terrible.

431

: 00:26:08

But just know that if a player is missing

and their character happens to be a big

432

: 00:26:11

decision maker right in the center of

what's going on, you can play without

433

: 00:26:16

them.

434

: 00:26:16

Like, you don't need them.

435

: 00:26:18

They might not like that, but if that's

what it takes to keep your group playing

436

: 00:26:22

and having fun, then absolutely do that.

437

: 00:26:26

From sickness to work trips to family

conflicts, our players are going to have

438

: 00:26:30

lots of reasons why they may or may not be

able to make sessions happen.

439

: 00:26:35

That's probably especially true in this

next period of time.

440

: 00:26:38

You know, we're gonna have Christmas and

New Year's.

441

: 00:26:40

So when your players turn up missing,

don't feel discouraged.

442

: 00:26:43

Instead, look at the options we talked

about to see if there is a way to make

443

: 00:26:47

your session happen.

444

: 00:26:48

And if the player remains missing for more

than 48 hours, call the police.

445

: 00:26:53

Lol.

446

: 00:26:54

In the end, what matters is that everyone

is having fun.

447

: 00:26:56

Also, that was a joke.

448

: 00:26:57

I hope none of your players ever actually

turn up missing.

449

: 00:27:01

Thank you for listening to today's

episode.

450

: 00:27:03

Make sure to head over to Instagram.

451

: 00:27:05

Like I said, give us a follow.

452

: 00:27:08

We can find us at Monsters.Rent or

HowToBeABetterDM.

453

: 00:27:11

Send us a message, like I said.

454

: 00:27:12

Tell us your tips, tricks, questions even,

and we'll give you a shout out.

455

: 00:27:18

and send it to us there and we'll make it

go live on the show.

456

: 00:27:21

And again, like I said, we'll give you a

shout out.

457

: 00:27:24

But thanks again, guys.

458

: 00:27:26

We'll be back next week for another show.

459

: 00:27:28

Until then, let's roll initiative.