8 Tips for Player Management in Dungeons and Dragons

Ulv had been living in the cave for 2 weeks. He’d managed to down an elk he had tracked. The elk seemed to have been separated from its herd because it was all alone. He’d fashioned a spear out of rock that he’d found in the cave. So far he felt pretty good about himself. He’d been at this trial for a couple weeks and hadn’t died. 

“Of course, you still haven’t made any progress towards the actual trial,” Ulv said to himself out loud. Ulv had always been comfortable being alone, but for some reason he found himself missing people. He missed Herlia and Hipam. He missed Cojari and he missed Judir. 

Ulv had always had a strange relationship with family. Being adopted meant that got to choose your family. Despite his gruff and stoic exterior, Ulv had always been quick to welcome people into his family. That’s probably why he felt to mourn the death of Judir so deeply. 

“Nope. Not going to think about that,” Ulv said to himself as he stood up and started pacing around the cave. No reason to start blubbering about the dead all over again.

“What about your parents?”

Ulv froze.  That voice had come from deeper in the cave. He looked into the darkness past the flickering light of his meager campfire. 

“Who goes there?” Ulv cried.

Drums began playing and briefly Ulv’s vision blurred. When he could see clearly again, he stared into the darkness, hearing the constant beat of distant drums.

What would you like to do?

Intro

Welcome back to How to Be a Better DM. I’m your host, Justin Lewis, and I’m here to help you learn how to tell amazing stories as you DM sessions of D&D. 

Sometimes getting a handful of people with different schedules, wants, hopes, interests and experiences together to play a seamless session can seem just about as easy as herding a bunch of cats. Truly, managing players is one of the hardest parts of being a dungeon master. Luckily, it is a skill that you can master. To that point, here are some of my tips on exactly how to manage your players as you dungeon master.

Honest Communication

In order to corral 3-7 people together to create a shared positive roleplaying experience, direct and honest communication is 100% necessary. You can’t hope to be able to manage your players if you can’t pull any single individual aside to talk about ways the gameplay can improve. Foster the ability to tell people about issues to their face. This is one part strength of the relationship, one part strength of your character and one part social acumen. You need to learn how to do it in an adroit way. What I find works best is only have as many people there as need to be there when you are delivering direct communication that may not be fun to hear. If you are making an announcement for the whole table, let everyone hear it. If you are giving correction to a player who is constantly distracting the other players at the table, only they need to be present.

Routine

You have to treat your players is if they were children. Children need routine, and so do players. Naturally, schedules are ever changing. That’s why having your game at the same time every week, or on the same day every week, helps a lot. Not everyone can do this. My own group doesn’t even do this. So instead, we’ve routinized other things. We always have it at my house. That lowers the work anyone needs to do to figure out where we are playing. They already know. It’s happening at my house. There are other things that you can routinize. Like when we play, I always start off by giving away tokens of advantage if someone in the group did something cool during the week that correlates with a D&D skill. This is a homebrew rule I made up, but I like doing it because it also starts to get us into the mood of playing D&D.

Responsiveness

One huge part of managing players is finding players who are responsive. At some point, it needs to be understood that everyone in the group needs to communicate and respond to communications. This rings especially true for communications about when the gameplay is actually going to happen. If a certain player or two only respond the night of the session to say, “Hey, I can’t make it,” then something needs to change. 

In those instances, sit down with that player and explain to them that in order to make the game happen, you need everyone’s cooperation. We live in a day and age now where communication really does not take that much effort. All it takes is a little response to an instant text and you’re done. In some cases, the players will have to talk with their significant others to make sure there aren’t any conflicting plans. That might be where you can coach the player a little more about how to bring up the topic and how to talk with the significant other to make sure everything is kosher. 

Give Players Jobs

The whole idea behind player management is to make it so you and the players are vibing on the same frequency. It’s to reduce distractions that are unwanted and increase player participation and cooperation. To do that, giving individual players duties and responsibilities is a very great way to make sure everyone is invested. You could have one player be in charge of keeping and tracking initiative during combat. You could give one player the duty of managing the battle map during combat. You could also give one player the duty to write down just the names of all the NPCs that are mentioned during the session. Whatever job you give any individual player, make sure that it is somewhat small and it doesn’t detract from that player enjoying the game and having fun. Giving players jobs also has the added benefit of making your life as a DM easier. A win win.

Understanding of Expectations

Simply put, your players need to understand and be willing to abide by your rules. You also need to understand and be willing to abide by their rules. Obviously, I use the term “rules” a little loosely here, but that’s essentially what they are. If you have a player that is uncomfortable with certain themes or experiences they might find in D&D, well you need to be aware of that and make sure to help them stay comfortable. Obviously, you can push the envelope with simple fears and such. I’m talking about true discomfort. 

On the flip side, your players should be well aware of what they can and can’t do. In my book, watching videos on your phone while we are playing is a big no-no. I’m a little bit of a pushover when it comes to this type of thing, but it’s something I’m actively working on. The problem I see is that half the table is interested in what I’m saying and the other half of the table wants to see the video. I want all my players to know what I expect and I want to know what they expect of me. This goes for expectations around responsiveness in communication as well as no-shows, and everything else that could come up. 

Manage Them Individually

Just as I am an individual, my players are too. I have a married couple that plays in my group and I should still treat each of them as individuals. Honestly, neither of them causes me any trouble, but when it comes to making sure they get info about the next session, reaching out about backstories, and more, I need to do it individually. Sometimes, we think of managing players as managing a group. Really it’s managing 4 to 7 individuals who all have their own ideas, wants, wishes, fears, boredom, etc. This doesn’t mean that you won’t make table-wide announcements or have a group text message thread that reaches all of them. You will and should definitely do those things. When it comes to managing difficulties or making things even better, I find it works better on an individual level.

Firing Players

Sometimes, you gotta be tough. When everything else you’ve tried has failed, it may be time to “fire” one of your players. Pull them aside one day. Ask them if they’ve been enjoying playing. Look at their demeanor. If they say no, then simply explain that they don’t have to keep playing if they don’t enjoy it. If they do enjoy it, make it clear to them that they are making things much more difficult for you as a dungeon master. Explain that you need them to change their behavior. If they persist without little change, then pull them aside again and kindly let them know that they will need to find another gaming table. In my experience, after trying everything else, the player will likely respond and either quit coming on their own or change their behavior. Very few people want to be an annoyance on purpose.

Feedback Protocol

In my opinion, one of the most important aspects of player management is setting up some sort of system to get feedback. Whether you go so far as to create a formal survey you hand out after every session, or you casually ask your players what they like and didn’t like, it doesn’t matter. You gotta know what makes your players happy and engaged in the game. If you are having problem players, it might be because they aren’t being stimulated enough by the experience. In this day and age, ADD and other challenges have become much more prevalent. If you can figure out that Player A is having a hard time focusing, but Player A also really loves the mythology of ancient China, well, it’s time to introduce a few Oni into the story.  Adding more of what your players love is, in my opinion, the best way to make sure that the players are attentive and cooperative.

Conclusion

Not every table will be filled with players who are completely engaged and hang on to your every word. In fact, in my experience, the more players sit at the table, the harder it gets to control them all. Your job as a DM isn’t to control them though. You just need to make sure that everyone at the table has a fun time. To do that, you might employ any of these methods of some you make up. Either way, get your players to buy in and give you their attention so they can have fun.

Thanks for listening to today’s show.

Send any feedback to howtobeabetterdm@gmail.com 

We’ll be back next week for another amazing episode.

Until then, let’s go ahead and roll initiative.

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